Yes, divorce is difficult. But once they make peace with the process, most people agree that life after a divorce is much better than trying to coexist with someone who no longer wants to be in your life. The negative feelings that come with a divorce may seem never-ending, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here are three steps you can take to reach it more quickly and move on.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Even if you're the one who wanted the divorce, the process still marks the end of a relationship that played a large role in your life. You can expect your divorce to trigger the same stages of grief that the death of a loved one or another difficult life event would. The process is normal and necessary, so you'll need to let yourself experience it. Although you'll want to make sure you do so in a constructive way, you'll do yourself a favor if you let out your anger and tears, even when they arrive unexpectedly. Trying to control and fight the process only makes it take longer.
If you're still living in the marital home, it's likely full of reminders. If you moved out, you probably took things with you that you ultimately won't need or want. You should deep clean your home and remove the clutter of personal items that cause you emotional pain. Get rid of things that remind you of your ex, rearrange the furniture and freshen things up with a new coat of paint. Doing this allows you to claim space for yourself that you're no longer sharing with another person or unpleasant memories of them.
Divorce can make you want to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed all day, but it's important that you reach out. There are compelling reasons to spend time with your family and good friends. Doing so gives you a safe place to vent your feelings and serves as a reminder that there is still plenty of love in your life. Make plans with the people who make you feel good and let them work their magic on you.
Following these tips for moving on after your divorce can help make things a little easier. The process isn't a simple one, however, so don't be too hard on yourself if your divorce is taking a bigger toll than expected. Do what you can to help yourself and lean on your loved ones when you need them. If you feel you need more support, consider getting the help of a therapist. Individual and group therapy are great ways to process your feelings so you can move on to a happier life in a healthy way.